A rough day...

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

Today wasn't easy. It wasn't easy as I expected it to be anyways. I powdered the girls (finally) last night, but seemingly to no avail. I was still picking adult fleas off of them today...despite my best efforts. But today was the big vet appointment. I had high hopes that our wonderful vet would have some suggestions for us on how to get rid of this awful flea problem. As always, she didn't disappoint. She checked Shelby over and determined that she did indeed have a skin infection from the little buggers on top of their bites. This is why you were scratching yourself silly...and why your skin was red raw and had weeping pustules. I'm so sorry I waited so long...but I'm finding out the hard way that nothing lately is coming easy...

So you were sent home with some antibiotics and some prednisone for the infection; hopefully both meds combined will be enough to help stop the itchy scratchies. You're actually losing fur because your scratching your undercoat out. Again, I am so sorry for waiting so long. But my dear girls, Mom is finding out that not having money readily available anymore is forcing me to put many things on hold. Not just your care, but things like food...and the mortgage. Mom and auntie are so stressed out right now because we just cant seem to catch a break. Everything sort of fell apart when I stopped working just about a year ago...around the same time we bought the house. Things have been a struggle ever since. Not only are we not able to do the things that we used to enjoy for fun, but in basic necessities as well.

So we've had to be very careful with money. And I hate to say that this time, it actually affected your care. I will NOT let that happen again. I'll do what ever needs to be done to make sure that you both get the care you need AND deserve. I know it seems like I'm going overboard with this, but Ive watched you Shelby, be uncomfortable for too long. And it wont happen again. I promise and pledge to take care of things as soon as I see them before they become too much of a problem for you. Knowing that you had fleas should not have been an excuse for me delaying your care because I thought the itchiness was just due to their bites. Again, next time I will not wait...

Which brings us to the rest of the appointment. I had to get your kitty sister, Faiths, paw checked. She is a "Hemmingway" cat, which means she has extra toes...lots of extra toes. Well, she suddenly had this "thing" sticking out of two of her toes. At first I thought it was a bone and immediately got freaked out...especially once it looked infected. But today we just found out it was a freaky toenail that has now made its way all the way out through her skin and no longer seems to be an issue. So problem #2 down.

Problem # 3 (yes, I think our vet still likes us) was Heidi's teeth. I noticed a while ago while checking her teeth and gums that her lower gums are actually pulling AWAY from her incisors on the bottom. I mean, there is a big gap between tooth and gum when her lower lip is pulled down. The result is, she will eventually lose those teeth =0( they're already loose. At 10, I guess I can expect some dental problems, but didn't think they would be this severe. I hope she can keep them for a long time and they stay put. I don't want my baby losing anything before her time...not her energy, her mobility OR her teeth!

So after this whole fiasco of an appt. where I found out Shelby, you have a severe skin infection, and Heidi is going to lose her teeth, we are told that to take care of the flea problem we're looking at bombing the house, and buying LOTS of k9 and feline advantage to kill the fleas and their eggs. This is AFTER I just frontlined them last week. I was told it is safe to use both, but considering I'm not the type to use EITHER, I'm not a happy camper. Apparently frontline does nothing for fleas any more =0(  So tomorrow I'm going out to spend more money that we really don't have on flea treatments for 8 pets. I don't mean to sound like a complainer, I mean I took these guys on (the cats) knowing that they would need medical care. I just wish it didn't have to come when finances are already a struggle...

And finally, after our very long appt. at the vet, I came home and had another breakdown. I found myself crying uncontrollably again on the phone with my mom telling her how stuck I was. I know she would help if it was something that truly was an emergency, but she has really truly helped enough. Giving us thousands of dollars to help with the bills when I was really sick and in the hospital. Luckily I have an appt. with my therapist tomorrow, so hopefully I can get some of my stressors out. I don't want to lay all of the responsibility on my mom, Ginny, or my girls. I need someone else, removed from the situation, to talk to.

I have these set backs all the time, but they seem to be closer together. Hopefully the therapist will have some suggestions tomorrow so I don't end up back in the dark place. I cant leave you girls alone like that again...you are my stars in a blackened sky...I need the light to guide me.

I know this was a long letter, but it really was a long day. I hope we can all sleep well tonight, and tomorrow will bring more positivity and a brighter outlook for everything. Sleep well my babies. and I will see you in the morning.
xoxo