Saturday, July 21, 2012

Where we're going, and where we've been...

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

Its been a long time since Ive felt well enough to write on your blog. Not long after our last post, where we did the paws for a cure walk, I found myself finding symptoms that concerned me. I decided to get help, and this started the long and difficult struggle of being caught in the throws of a deep depression. So deep, my lovely angels, that not even you alone could pull me out. On the darkest days, I did remember you and the love that we shared and I can be honest saying that you guys did save my life...a few times. But my illness was such that you alone could not help me get out. Little did I know how long and tough the road would be to get back to somewhat normal.

After a few hospital stays, many medication changes and therapy, I can say now, that I am almost at that place. There are still things that I need and want to work on, but I am back enjoying the things I used to...the things that involved you girls. As I said in your last letter, I hope to remember how short life really is, and how little time we really have to enjoy it together. Heidi, you just celebrated your tenth birthday on July 1st; and having your cousin diagnosed with CHF has just made me face your mortality even more. I know one day you girls and I will have to part...and it will be the saddest day of my life. So lets keep doing the things that we love: going out and enjoying this great big world. Lets focus on where we're going next-whether it be as close by as the farm, or as far away as a sheltie national. We're going to take one day at a time, and Momma is going to make sure we do something together every day-whether it be spending some time together grooming, or waking, or just relaxing on the deck. I never want to go to the dark place again...and I know that having the two of you around will make it that much harder to slip into that mindset. You two are the stars in my keep shining bright even when there is no other light. You guide me to be a better, more active person.

I thank you girls for all you've done. I thank you for your uniquely canine way of being forever loyal and never wavering. You never left me for a minute even though I left you plenty of times. I love you both so much, and you have such a big part of my heart, I find it hard to breathe thinking of being without you. Thank you for all you've lets go and find our next adventure together!

thanks again my sweet girls,

No comments:

Post a Comment