Still fighting the battle...and special outings

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

uggghhhhh....the fleas are not totally gone. Even after a bath and Frontline (which I have never ever used in your life-and now I'm thinking it was a waste and mistake) I found 2 fleas on Shelby this morning. Her skin is all red and still super itchy. I powdered the house this afternoon with our concoction of borax powder, diatomaceious earth and Natural Defense essential oil powder. I plan on powdering you girls with it tomorrow.

I'm also going to call the vet and see if there is anything I can use to help with the itchies. Heidi, you seem to be holding up well-not a lot of bites and not itchy. But Shelby, my little one, you're being eaten alive. Ive got to do something for you. I tried the oatmeal shampoo the other day when we had tubbies but clearly, this isn't enough. I'll see if I can get something stronger for you to help.

On another note, we went to the beach again today. It was auntie Ginny's last day of vacation, and we wanted to make it a special day so she could spend it with us, and of course her kids. You guys had such a blast again, sunning around after your toys and the seagulls. I love watching you run, as if you didn't have a care in the world...so free. I know that part of the secret to keeping you guys healthy and with me for as long as possible is to keep you active and happy. Tomorrow we'll probably go to the farm and have a nice walk there. I look forward to all of our outings...and then watching you sleep when you get home. I know that resting is important for your aging bodies, and watching you sleep after a long walk gives me immense satisfaction. I know that you are happy, and are comfortable enough in our house with your strange pack (of other dogs and cats!) to let your guard down and really sleep...just finding a spot where your comfortable and crash. I feel like I have done my job as dog mom for the day, right.

So for tonight, my little ones, sleep and dream of your favorite places and things to do. I promise that we will try to make your dreams a reality as much as possible. You two deserve it. Being the worlds best shelties and all ;0)

Good night my babies. I will see you in the morning for our next adventure...and for some powdering and grooming...

Im sorry girls...the bugs are back

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

Mummas been failing you. Ive noticed for a while now how you have been itchy; scratching whenever you got the chance. I would pet you and notice how your coat felt sandy-normal I thought for two dogs who play at the beach so much. Well, I was wrong. Once I started paying attention more, I noticed how red your skin was, the black dirt in your coat and the small fleas crawling on you! We did this all once before...but you've been flea-free since. I treated you completely holistically and without chemicals.

This time, I may have to resort to heavier duty weapons...because the problem seems to be bigger. There seem to be more of them, and everyone seems to be a carrier-the other two dogs and all the cats. So we're going to take care of this problem because it isn't good for you, babies, and we need to get rid of them.

So today you took a capstar-that will kill any adults on you. Tomorrow you get to look forward to tubbies; we'll get them all off. After that we'll use the borax powder and the diatomaceous earth and powder you down. We'll keep doing that until we're sure we got them all. No more bites for you. No more scratching. I'm so sorry it took me this long to realize what the problem was...but now we're going to take care of it. Mumma will fix it and get you guys back to normal. No more itchy scratchy shelties!!

I love you and I'm sorry in advance for the tubbies ;0)

Where we're going, and where we've been...

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

Its been a long time since Ive felt well enough to write on your blog. Not long after our last post, where we did the paws for a cure walk, I found myself finding symptoms that concerned me. I decided to get help, and this started the long and difficult struggle of being caught in the throws of a deep depression. So deep, my lovely angels, that not even you alone could pull me out. On the darkest days, I did remember you and the love that we shared and I can be honest saying that you guys did save my life...a few times. But my illness was such that you alone could not help me get out. Little did I know how long and tough the road would be to get back to somewhat normal.

After a few hospital stays, many medication changes and therapy, I can say now, that I am almost at that place. There are still things that I need and want to work on, but I am back enjoying the things I used to...the things that involved you girls. As I said in your last letter, I hope to remember how short life really is, and how little time we really have to enjoy it together. Heidi, you just celebrated your tenth birthday on July 1st; and having your cousin diagnosed with CHF has just made me face your mortality even more. I know one day you girls and I will have to part...and it will be the saddest day of my life. So lets keep doing the things that we love: going out and enjoying this great big world. Lets focus on where we're going next-whether it be as close by as the farm, or as far away as a sheltie national. We're going to take one day at a time, and Momma is going to make sure we do something together every day-whether it be spending some time together grooming, or waking, or just relaxing on the deck. I never want to go to the dark place again...and I know that having the two of you around will make it that much harder to slip into that mindset. You two are the stars in my sky...you keep shining bright even when there is no other light. You guide me to be a better, more active person.

I thank you girls for all you've done. I thank you for your uniquely canine way of being forever loyal and never wavering. You never left me for a minute even though I left you plenty of times. I love you both so much, and you have such a big part of my heart, I find it hard to breathe thinking of being without you. Thank you for all you've done...now lets go and find our next adventure together!

thanks again my sweet girls,
xoxo

Letters to the girls: #1

Dear Heidi and Shelby,

I was so happy to take you to the beach today. I knew that you guys were going to have a blast; the weather was sunny with just a hint of hazy clouds making it warm, but not too much so. It was nice and cool in the 70's, so even walking in the sun it wasn't too hot for your sheltie coats.

Shelby, you had such a good time chasing all of the "beach geese" (seagulls) off your beach. No matter how many times, even right in a row that one would fly over, you would go sprinting away barking your little sheltie head off on one simple command from me: "away". You'd come back with the proudest look on your face, a big smile that said "did you see what I did mom?" Id give you a pat on the side and tell you what a good girl you were. After a few runs, you'd come back with "happy tongue" (where the tongue hangs out the side of your mouth) and I know that you felt that you had done your job, and you had done it right. You had my girl, you had.

Heidi on the other hand, you waited somewhat impatiently for what good time you knew was coming. Mom always brings a special toy for you (since you have no interest in flying things) and today you weren't disappointed. Auntie Ginny had bought a UFO toy for her dog, but you quickly took it over with your superior fetching skills. In fact, once you came back with it hanging by just one canine tooth...a very cool trick we all made a big deal over. Sometimes UFO would end up in the water. Usually this didn't stop you from completing the task of retrieving skills but sometimes it would get just out of your reach and momma would have to go in knee deep and rescue it for you. You'd stand on the beach barking your commands to "hurry up and throw it again!" and I of course, complied.

You guys had such a good time today...it seemed so freeing after being in the house the past couple days. I tried to take you yesterday and had everything all planned out, but after having (my) moms dog Brandy knock me over, I knew I couldn't walk and it wouldn't be a good day. Today my leg still hurt, but not bad enough to curb our trip again. I promise we will go back soon. Its so nice to see you running and acting so happy and free. It makes me remember what our wonderful relationship is all about...the good times.

I was reminded of that constantly today, remembering Aunties dog Molly's diagnosis of CHF and knowing she has limited time with those she loves. And then when I got home, I saw a facebook post saying that Judy, Heidi's breeder had lost her very special heart-dog Jackson. Time is short, and we never know when it will be up...we never know what is going to come tomorrow. We have to make the best of today. I hope that I keep doing that and never let you down. There will be a day where we have to say goodbye for now and I hope to remember all of these good times.

I hope to remember laying with you Shelby on the bed tonight and marveling at your feet. How many times had those feet padded over the sand today, running away from me after your "prey" and then dutifully running back to check in with me. I played with the soft curls that your fur makes when it air dries from being wet from the beach water. I looked at the beautiful highlights in your sandy hair.

I love you. Both. So much. Please, never forget that. And I will try to do my part and  remember every day too. Good night my girls. Sleep well.